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If web entrepreneur Azad Chaiwala’s dating site Polygamy. He’s trying to take the idea of polygamy, which has deep roots in Muslim culture, and take it mainstream. The site, which launched in , closely mirrors the layout of other dating sites. You enter your age, location, status, physical attributes, bio, and what you’re looking for. After registering, you’re presented with a global list of users.
On a free membership, you’ll only see one profile picture. Just looking through the profiles, I noticed one thing: a lot of people are still skittish about saying exactly what type of relationship they’re looking for. And if they do specifically name something, it aligns more closely to polyamory or some level of non-monogamy than polygamy, which involves multiple spouses. Despite the baggage of the site’s name, plenty of user profiles I looked through were simply looking for an amorphously defined third partner.
Despite being a longtime feature in Muslim and Mormon culture though often shunned by the mainstream adherents to these religions polygamy’s never featured prominently in the biggest dating sites. OKCupid and Plenty of Fish, for instance, have options for mentioning you’re in a marriage and looking for something more, but that’s not a selling point for either site.
Polygamists Are Using An App to Find Their ‘Second Wife’
Online dating service for married men and would-be brides, ayopoligami. With a homepage featuring an illustration of a bearded man in between four women in Islamic headscarves, the site, argues its creator, has been designed to help smooth the process for men seeking more than one wife. Upon registration to ayopoligami. Given the stringent conditions, in reality most polygamous unions in Indonesia are carried out unofficially, and not always harmoniously. In late August a second wife in the sharia-ruled province of Aceh fatally stabbed a first wife, who police said had approached her husband to ask him for money.
People that have downloaded the polygamy dating app are predominately from Indonesia, but also neighbouring Malaysia and Singapore.
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Even so, many people assume that poly folks are above feeling jealous. The major food, however, is that poly people learn to respond to feelings of envy with marriage and curiosity, rather than shame. And that’s not realistic,” said Liz Powell , a sex therapist and speaker. We have messy hearts that feel things strongly.
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We don’t need a piece of paper. People are already with multiple partners through prostitution and affairs and such, and no one even blinks an eye. As Imams, we don’t have authority to enforce the rights of the wife. Only a court can do that,” Ally said. When it comes to the dating argument, Polygamist said dating could rightfully make the same claim. If one is going to use temptation as a reason to pursue multiple marriages, what’s to a say that even a fourth wife will be the solution?
Get six of our favorite Motherboard controversial every day by signing up for our newsletter. Sep 13 , pm. Image: SecondWife. Tagged: for Motherboard marriage machines Technology Muslims polygamy Dating Apps polyamory polygamists show secondwife.
Looking for another wife? There’s a new Tinder-style dating app specifically for POLYGAMISTS
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Of course, these marriages are not legally recognized in Canada, nor in wives other countries. Section of the Criminal Code of Canada explicitly prohibits polygamy, and offenders could face up to five years continue reading prison. The UK and US have similar laws. Wives Canada, the wives is widely rejected:. The Canadian Council of Muslim Women has also officially taken a position against polygamy polygamydeeming it “inherently harmful to women and sites, because the dating structure is based on the values of tribal patriarchy.
The goal of SecondWife. He wants to be clear:. It’s exclusively for those who polygamists marriage-minded and seeking plenty term commitment. Chaiwala said that 75 percent of SecondWife users are men, while 25 wives are women. The women are polygamists marriages with a man, according to him, and are willing to act as sisters or colleagues to the other wives. Alliyah Brown, who lives in London UK, is one of those women. Chaiwala put me in touch with wives year-old community worker and SecondWife.
She argued that polygamy is a good option for independent women.
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In fact, a survey found a staggering one in three Tinder users was already in an relationship. For would-be polygamists in Indonesia, any concerns they might not fit into the world of internet dating have been allayed thanks to a new Tinder-style app. Though widely frowned upon, Polygamy is legal in Indonesia, where a man is allowed to be married to up to four women at a time. The app allows users, 60 percent of whom are men, to swipe left or right on a person’s profile to signal their willingness – or not – to meet them, much like Tinder.
It also has gender-specific chatrooms for users to discuss their experiences in polygamy or ask for advice. Iyus Yusuf Fasyiyah, 37, who alternates between his two wives and two homes every three days, is among 10, users who have registered on AyoPoligami since its launch in April. He said many of the people he encounters on the app are new to polygamy, and wanting to engage with it but don’t know how.
The app’s developer Lindu Pranayama, 35, who met his first – and currently only – wife on the app, started his company in after realising regular dating sites weren’t catering to married men looking for a second, third or fourth wife. He recently had to stop accepting new members after scores of fake accounts appeared. After installing greater user security systems, he said, new users can join as of Thursday.
Women’s rights activists have condemned Pranayama’s endeavour, calling it “upsetting and shocking”. In order to enter a polygamous marriage, men in Indonesia are required to gain their first wife’s consent and pass a religious court investigation, which will look to confirm that she is incapable of fulfilling her duties as a wife. Legal experts say such regulations and the topic being taboo mean many people in the country marry without the necessary approvals.
Reuters spoke to three female users of the app who said they were open to entering into polygamous marriages, but declined to be identified.